Naughty Celebs: April 2006

Pickler Admits She Sucks

Kellie Pickler, who competed in American Idol, was recently removed from the show... and for good reason. She performed terribly! Even her proclaimed "tarantula eyes" and innocent clueless hick persona couldn't save her from the clutches of the American Idol crowd and voting staff.

Pickler herself stated, "I deserved to get the boot this week. I probably should have gotten it last week, but I'm grateful that the fans let me have another week. I had bad performances back to back. There's no excuse." Her thoughts on being kicked from the show were, "People believe what they want to believe, but I've been real from the beginning, and honest with my life and who I am."

Yes, you might be honest, but this is not a charity case, we shall choose the best, and you are NOT it! A little dirt on Pickler you request? She admits her father had a 45-month prison stretch on assault charges. She idiotically said "When all else fails, you gotta have good shoes," and after her horrible performance... she even declared herself to have "butchered it!"

Sharon Stone Isn't That Mean

British newspaper has spread a rumor, and printed it, that Sharon Stone left her 4-year-old son in a car while eating supper in a London resteraunt. This rumor was obviously not true, in fact she can proove that she had supper with her child. Stone is got an undisclosed ammount of money from the newspaper because of the embarrassment it had caused and distress.

Even though she probably recieved a LARGE ammount of money... she "planned to donate the money to charity." I would personally use that money to fight against the newspaper - you can't just make up a random rumor about someone neglecting their child!

The report stated her child was in the car for two hours outside The Ivy restaurant a London. "The article conveyed the clear allegation that Sharon Stone had neglected her son in a shameful and selfish way." Dear British newspaper: Next time you make up a lie, please make it believable!

Hotty Michelle Rodriguez Drunk Driving Jail Time

The star of "Lost," Michelle Rodriguez began a five-day jail sentence for drunk driving today. She was offered 240 hours of community service but chose the $500.00 fine and some jail time. Talk about a bad-ass babe; she chooses to be locked up, and pay money rather than help out the community!

"I kind of have to get back to my life, go back to making some money, It kind of gave me a hard hit." Ummm... yah, just glad you didn't give someone else a 'hard hit' while you were drunk driving. Rodriguez and fellow cast member Cynthia Watros were both charged with drunken driving after they were pulled over Dec. 1 in separate cars within 15 minutes of each other. Them lost stars love to drink and drive I guess.

I have to give her credit though - she surrendered herself. She said that choosing time in jail was a "personal decision." Not to fret, (God knows she isn't), as she states she isn't worried about her future on "Lost." Rodriguez recorded a blood-alcohol level of 0.145 percent, nearly twice the legal limit of 0.08. Watros had a blood-alcohol level of 0.10. When asked by a reporter if she would drink and drive again, Rodriguez replied: "That's kind of a dumb question. C'mon now."

Kevin Costner Sex Scandal

Kevin Costner, the Hollywood actor, has been accused of performing a sex act while being given a massage at the golf hotel, The Old Course Hotel in St Andrews, Fife. I'm surprised it wasn't some type of baseball hotel, being that he can only do baseball movies, hehe.

It all went down in October, 2004 while Costner AND HIS WIFE were attended the Dunhill Links pro-celebrity golf event. A former employee of the hotel claimed unfair dismissal against the hotel, alleging she was sacked after she complained to management about the star's alleged behaviour. Serves the lady right... people always trying to get money from celebs!

The woman did settle with hotel lawyers before the hearing began. The 34-year-old spa worker at the centre of the allegations initially claimed unfair dismissal and sexual discrimination against the hotel after she lost her job. And tribunal chairman Nicol Hosie ruled that both the hotel and Costner could be identified and that there was not a strong enough case for their names to be withheld. No comment was made by the gold digga' ;)

Chunky Jade Goody Flops

One time Big Brother member, all time larger lady, Jade Goody is currently recouperating in the hospital from walking a London marathon. Jade Goody is not in good shape, and even stated herself she shouldn't be in this marathon because of her weight and shapely "attributes."

The 18th mile of the charity run was where she has given up, and needed to be taken to the hospital. Now mind you, 18 miles is a long ass ways to run... but she spectators say she walked it, haha! She admitted being overweight and not prepared for this... but at 24 years old, I would think she could at least complete the marathon!

Goody yelling at the paramedics, "I'm dying, I'm dying", while onlookers told reporters she had gone blue in the face through exhaustion. Her excuse for not being ready? She said she "got bored" during training for the event. "I’ve been eating curry and Chinese and drinking, It's my own fault I hadn’t prepared enough. I had only done four proper training sessions. I'm gutted I didn't get my medal. I wanted to finish but it was too much."

Jason Priestley the Cork Dork

A new half-hour television series is on the horizon appropriately called "Hollywood and Vines." Our least favorite (or at least mine) Beverly Hills 90210 star will be hosting this show along with Terry David Mulligan.

These idiots give themselves the status of "cork dorks!" The basis of the up-and-coming show is all about wine, and the celebrities who love wine. Like theirs not enough alcoholics in the world... lets push them to be even more popular because they love their vino!

Don't let my hate of Jason Priestley stop you from watching the show because one of my Favorite actors will be on the show as well :) Soon to be on the show are actors like: Heath Ledger, Katie Holmes and Sienna Miller, Jack Black [F***ing Hillarious], George Clooney, Steven Page and Kyle MacLachlan. Man, if we could get some of these celebs going around, making asses of themselves, and focusing on the best BEER... We'd be in business!

Look Fab Like Celebs

We all know that celebrities can make or break a "look." IE... when Jennifer Lopez came out during the award ceremony in the well-known green dress that pretty much showed everthing - encouraged all female celebrities and their mothers to dress in a similar fashion. The reason these celebrities can look so Damned dashing all of the time is because a lot of effort and money is involved!

"If you had a personal trainer, a chef, a stylist and an esthetician, you'd look that good too," says a professional stylist. We have some hot tips that can help you look celeb-like for cheap (well, cheaper anyways).

Supposedly, hydration is the key to healthy skin, and alternating hot and cold water in the shower stimulates blood flow. Do-it-yourself at-home hydrotherapy treatments can have the same effect without spending $200 a pop. Look like a rockstar by doing this:

(1) When you're in the shower, switch from hot water (as hot as you can tolerate) to cold water for 15 seconds, then back to hot. (2) The best time to moisturize your body is when you're just stepping out of the shower and your pores are still open. (3) Drink glasses of hot water with a slice of lemon to aid in removing toxins from the body. (4) When you get out of the shower don't brush your hair right away because it can break. Use a wide-tooth comb and work from the ends up.

Paris Hilton Promotes Cell Phone Entertainment

After the mishap of getting her mobile device stolen, and imbarrasing nude photos of herself and friends spread among the net worldwide, Paris Hilton is still taking a plunge towards bettering mobile technology.

Hilton is loves to see herself EVERYWHERE, even on the little cell-phone screen. Mobile video games is her now interest, or at least promotional interest. Paris Hilton Entertainment Inc. and Gameloft is releasing a game geard towards teenagers this summer. The games are supposedly based on puzzle and card games... (not the kind of games I would think Hilton would enjoy.)

"My phone has become an all-in-one entertainment device and mobile games are an integral part of that. Mobile gaming is really hot right now and I'm excited to be part of this project," states Hilton. You go girl... do what you gotta do to get your face out there even more... If thats even possible!

Mission Impossible: Placenta

Tom Cruise has gone off the friggin deep end! Make millions in the box office. CHECK. Marry, mind-wash, and impregnate a woman much, MUCH younger than you. CHECK. Decide to eat the placenta of his own unborn baby. Uhhhhh... CHECK. YUCK!

Cruise disgustingly states, "I'm gonna eat the placenta. I thought that would be good. Very nutritious. I'm going to eat the cord and the placenta right there." Ohh many you f***ing sicko! Is this a Scientology thing? and is Katie Holmes happy and/or proud of you for this?

We all thought it was wacky enought that having doctor visits wasn't enough: he had to purchase his own ultrasound machine. Now he's becoming a cannibal. Next movie in line for Cruise might as well be Silence of the Top Gun Lambs ;)

Happy Beyonce Easter

How's bout a little sexy brown sugar for yah? Being that it's a holiday - I thought I'd give you the straight up dirty photos of the scorching hot celebrity Beyonce.

JK Rowling Vs. the Skinny

A little known fad has been circling the celebrity arena and that fad is sickening. As Bloodhound Gang puts it "The thinner is the winner... So I won't have to take your a** to the Sizzler." JK Rowling, author of the Harry Potter books, has a strong opinion about this sick new look and feel.

Rowling stated celebrities today, "whose only function in the world appears to be supporting the trade in overpriced handbags and rat-sized dogs." Ahem... Hilton. A direct hit me' lady! She also goes on to talk about the weight problem in celeb-status stars.

Many people have been outraged by Rowling's latest outbursts, but I for one will agree with her here. Too much emphasis is being placed on appearance (especially weight), and not on what is most important... Breast Size ;)

Muhammad Ali Sells Out

Making money from marketing using your own name as a celebrity is a 'hot' thing to do these days. Branding some clothes, putting your name on a fragrance or perfume, fine. Literally selling 80 percent of the rights to your name and likeness ? No F***ing way! Before you know it, you could have random products like condoms, or even rectal gloves with your name on it!

I guess, this week Muhammed Ali was offered his [soul], and for what you ask? A mere $50 million. "They essentially have bought the rights to sell the rights. It's just a new way of looking at things in sports. It has taken an old concept, used in other businesses, and applied it to a new area," said Dan Migala.

Sad thing is, they are seriously just purchasing a person. The company involved in such gigantic purchases paid $100 million last year for the rights of Elvis Presley... who isn't even here to say "NO!" Oh well, if you are thinking of giving me an offer for my name/rights/soul, the bidding starts at $6.66 ;)

Jessica Simpson in Trouble

Jessica Simpson's popularity seems to be drooping along with the weight of her purse. Tarrant Apparel Group (TAG), a Los Angeles clothing company, is now sueing Simpson for $100 million, claiming she breached their contract. OUCH! That's like a whole month's salary for her...

Simpson signed an agreement in 2004 to make, sell, market and distribute women's sportswear for the company. "Ms. Simpson shall be actively involved in promoting (TAG's) products, whether requested or not. She must publicly wear/display or use the products, particularly at events, shows and appearances," states the company.

I guess the gigs weren't stylish enough for her to be seen out in public. A contract is a contract lady! She has already recieved $2.2 million, with another $6 million dollars guarenteed on the way. For that kind of money you really shouldn't f*** around. If only Nick was here to clean this whole ordeal up for you ;)

Britney Spears: Not Sexy

As a teenager, Britney Spears was completely smokin' but where does she reign now in on the hotness scale? Definitely below her 2004 declared standing of 'sexiest celebrity on the planet.' Could it have been her terrible choice to funk K-Fed, become trailer trash, have a child, and loose all respect for herself? At least she's got her own perfume to get all dat der trailer stank out' her hair ;)

FHM magazine's 100 Sexiest Women in the World says Spears just isn't getting the votes. Some say she has completely lost her sex appeal, which caused her to fall below the 100 sexiest women marking.

Spears is about 20 spots from being in the 100 Sexiest Women listing... even below Joss Stone and Charlotte Church. Who would have thought? Oh well, with all her previous fame and money, and with the loot K-Fed will bring in (LOL), she can just buy her happiness like the rest of the celebrities!

Speedy Malcolm

Malcolm in the Middle's main star Frankie Muniz, who played Malcolm, is no longer acting in the hit sitcom and took a turn for the faster lane. Muniz now spends his days practicing in his new career as a racecar driver.

Muniz has already been in many races, and is actually pretty good! Must be from all the practice of go-carting with his fellow costar brothers on the show. In 2004, he was introduced to racing via the Toyota Pro-Celebrity Race. This year will be his third appearance.

Now that he has his millions at only 20 years of age, he can focus on a different career: racing. Muniz stated he will be concentrating on racing for the next three or four years without juggling his acting career. His skills in racing soo much that 'Malcolm' has even moved up to the "Pro Level!"

Mariah Carey, Another Stinky Diva

What's the latest trend for celebs to get their face out there? Sell their own product line. Jessica Simpson started a bloody trend and everyone and their mother is getting on board!

Mariah Carey is next in line to have a set of personally endorsed 'fragrances.' Elizabeth Arden said Grammy Award winner "Carey will be involved in all aspects of product development, packaging and marketing."

Well, that's just great. I wonder if it will have a very tight top (like herself)... so it can spill all its 'essence' onto the world... Perhaps some 'Glitter?' I heard that Jessica Simpson's product actually tastes good, but what can this dumb broad bring to the table?

Naomi Campbell Pulls Out

A spurt of violence has been seen in celebrities as of late. Apparently, Naomi Campbell is no different. Sean 'Diddy' Comb's has a reality cook-off television show "Celebrity Cooking Showdown." Campbell will not be on the show because she is being charged with assult from her maid, Ana Scolavino.

What did she do, toss a phone at someone like Russell Crowe did? Exactly! Campbell allegedly hit her maid with a jewel-encrusted cell phone. All the new rage I guess - throwing phones at people.

Diddy states, "Naomi's not in it. She's been out for like two weeks." And show host Alan Thicke jokes, "Naomi was booked and then got booked again, apparently at some precinct in New York."

The original plan was for her to have a 'cook-off' against diva Patti LaBelle, but plans went through when she thought pissing off her maid was a "Good Idea."

Russell Crowe in Trouble Again

Russell Crowe has always be known as non-do-gooder, a rebel if you will. The largely seen rage, was first spotted when he threw a telephone at a hotel employee. Hit him pretty hard too!

"The Ordinary Fear Of God" was playing in New Zealand which Crowe just happend to be at. Well, being that he's a celebrity, I guess standard rules don't apply to him. For most of the show, Crowe was smoking his ciggarrettes in a non-smoking building. Ofcourse he stood out, being the only one smoking!

"So, he's above the law just because he's a celebrity or something? Just because you're Russell Crowe doesn't mean you can do whatever you like." Not only was he hurting his unborn baby, he is now being investigated for the incident. Crowe was even told to put out the smoke, and refused!

Angry Wife-Swapper

Lizzy Bardsley, a Wife Swap Star, was just charged with child cruelty and faces ten charges relating to alleged incidents between 1996 and 2005. Wow, lot of good Wife Swap did for yah!

People were outraged when they found out the Bardsley crew raked in £37,000 a year just in benefits for doing the show! She was also seen on Cosmetic Surgery Live and Celebrity Fit Club. These two shows... I'll actually agree she needed to be on ;)

These two losers got the big stroke of fame in 2003 with Wife Swap, him being jobless and her being a huge ass loud-mouth. They recently got devorced, but only after renewing their marriage vows on television. Talk about T.V.-hungry whores; Get a freekin job and stop beating your kids.

Screech is a Asshole

Living post 'Saved by the Bell' must be hard for all the fellow cast members, but they seem to be doing it just fine. With as huge as the show was, your face doesn't get forgotten, especially for the crazy character Dustin Diamond (Screech).

Word on the street is he's currently living in Milwaukee, Wisconsin and he owns a resteraunt. Dustin also performs as a stand-up comedian for a living. The 29-year old Diamond states "No, I don't get to the unemployment office that much."

Friends of mine have actually met 'Screech' and say that he is an ASSHOLE! So, it comes with great pleasure to say that the other cast members are doing much better. Mark-Paul Gosselaar, who played Zack Morris, starred on NYPD Blue for four seasons before moving on to Commander in Chief. Kelly was a regular on Beverly Hills 90210 and Just Shoot Me, Jessie filmed Showgirls and was in a few other T.V. shows, and AC Slater has also been on a slew of other Television hits. Lisa, is also doing well.

Sucks to be you Dustin Diamond! Maybe you should be nicer to people and you wouldn't be seen as "The Dickhead Formally Known as Screech."

Naughty Celebs

Friday, April 28, 2006

Pickler Admits She Sucks

Thursday, April 27, 2006

Sharon Stone Isn't That Mean

Wednesday, April 26, 2006

Hotty Michelle Rodriguez Drunk Driving Jail Time

Tuesday, April 25, 2006

Kevin Costner Sex Scandal

Monday, April 24, 2006

Chunky Jade Goody Flops

Sunday, April 23, 2006

Jason Priestley the Cork Dork

Saturday, April 22, 2006

Look Fab Like Celebs

Wednesday, April 19, 2006

Paris Hilton Promotes Cell Phone Entertainment

Tuesday, April 18, 2006

Mission Impossible: Placenta

Sunday, April 16, 2006

Happy Beyonce Easter

Thursday, April 13, 2006

JK Rowling Vs. the Skinny

Wednesday, April 12, 2006

Muhammad Ali Sells Out

Tuesday, April 11, 2006

Jessica Simpson in Trouble

Monday, April 10, 2006

Britney Spears: Not Sexy

Sunday, April 09, 2006

Speedy Malcolm

Thursday, April 06, 2006

Mariah Carey, Another Stinky Diva

Wednesday, April 05, 2006

Naomi Campbell Pulls Out

Tuesday, April 04, 2006

Russell Crowe in Trouble Again

Monday, April 03, 2006

Angry Wife-Swapper

Saturday, April 01, 2006

Screech is a Asshole

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